I was at least twelve years old before I was allowed to cross the street by myself. It was several years after that I was allowed to stay home alone during the summer while my parents were at work instead of going to summer camp. I always felt like I could have stayed home earlier; now that I'm a parent I know how my parents felt: it was NEVER time to leave me home alone!
So at what age is it appropriate to start leaving your little ones home alone--without a babysitter? A recent New York Times article tackles that very question. There are few laws or guidelines to help us make such decisions. Pediatricians don't have much to offer. Ultimately, it becomes a decision between the parents and the child. Both have to feel ready to allow such a thing to occur. And, generally, it starts with an experiment. Leave the kid at home alone while you visit a neighbor for a cup of sugar (do people still do that?). Next time leave her home alone while you pick up the dry cleaning, and so on.
Many states see the tender age of 12 as the start of this new way of life. Twelve is different for each child. How the kid reacts makes all the difference in the world too, as does the general personality of the child. Is your child independent and can get things done on his own? Does your child fear being alone or throw temper tantrums? Do you find your child is in trouble all the time, even when you're around? All these things are taken into consideration when deciding to leave a kid at home. Many parents also have no choice but to leave their children alone--scary but true--even when they're not yet twelve. Luckily things like cell phones and other modern technologies have made it easier for us to keep in touch with our children.
I'm terrified to even think of letting my child stay at home alone or go anywhere alone in New York City, but I know it's a future I face. What about you? When did you let your children start staying at home alone? Was it earlier or later than when you stayed home alone as a kid?
It can be tough to travel when you have a family. Being away from your little ones can be as tough as the grueling red eyes, hard hotel beds and crazy meeting schedules that await you. For parents of children with special needs who find themselves business travellers as well, another layer of challenges present themselves.
In response, the parents have become quite creative in handling a hectic work schedule and managing the care of their special needs children. In a recent New York Times article, parents of special needs children discuss how they manage family and career. One child, with Prader Willi syndrome, took a trip with his travelling parent. His meals were portion-controlled and given to him every three hours. The meals were pre-made and frozen in a giant grid.
Other children require shots given with a specific technique or visits to specialists. Some parents, rather than try to cobble their family's schedule around their job, do it the other way around. Or, one parent will take on the schedule so the other parent can avoid all the appointments and have a less hectic day. Still other parents enlist the help of parents, friends and nannies. Some have even gone so far as to get help outside their regular circle by using services like sittercity.com, which helps match children with special needs with the appropriate caregiver.
The article offers some good resources for parents. Any additional thoughts or suggestions not covered by the article?
As many of you may know, I have a sixteen-month-old-son. When I first became pregnant I never thought whether I wanted a boy or a girl. I was simply thrilled to be having a child at all, and wanted only a happy, healthy child--the sex of the baby was inconsequential. Then, at one point I found out I would be having a son. I was an only child and a girl and knew not the first thing about having, and raising, a little boy. Now I'm on track with my second child, a little girl. I'm nervous and flustered and wondering just how different raising a child of the opposite sex will be. After all, I've had experience raising a baby, but he is all boy, all the time.
Is there such a difference in raising children of the opposite sex? Ask anyone, whether or not they're parents, and they'll have a pretty strong opinion about the world of boys vs girls. For example, when I found out I was having a girl, the pink clothing literally started pouring in. Everything is pink! When I was pregnant with my son I received clothes in all manner of colors, but not with my daughter. People also always comment that boys are much more rambunctious than girls in the beginning, but that girls are ever so much harder to deal with as teenagers--and that as the would-be mother of a teenage girl I have a lot of drama to look forward to.
The only real difference I've come across in my research is how you change a diaper. For girls you simply wipe in a different direction than with boys. Perhaps there's a little more clean-up involved as you're dealing with internal parts as opposed to external parts, but really that's the only difference I can discern. All of my friends who have two children, oddly enough, started out with a boy and then followed up with a girl. They all say that there is a real difference, even if it can't be defined in words, to raising a boy vs a girl.
Thoughts? Is there any real difference? Is it just society straining its concept of norms over us? Or is there more to raising girls than pink clothing that makes them intrinsically different than boys? After all, aren't little boys made of snails and puppy dog tails and such, while girls are made of sugar and spice?
As the world will know soon enough if it doesn't already, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are debuting the pictures of their newborn twins today. Courtesy of People Magazine, who reportedly paid $14 million for the pictures, which will be given to a charity of the Jolie-Pitt's choice, the pictures feature mom and dad with the newborn twins and big sister Shiloh holding a babe.
Says Angelina Jolie about her ever-expanding family, which now clocks in at six, the brood is "chaos." She means that in a good way, of course, but how could it be otherwise with that many children in the house? I have one child with another on the way and sometimes wonder how I'm going to get through my day! Twins Knox and Vivienne join Maddox, Pax, and Zahara as well as Shiloh.
Jolie adds that despite the zaniness, she and the family are having a great time. She also claims her daughters Shiloh and Zahara have taken on the role of "little mommies" by helping change the twins and pick out their clothes. Perhaps she can give us some hints and tips on how to get the older kids to help out with the new ones!
Congrats to the couple, who are clearly delighted with their newest additions!
I don't know why the teachers at The Family Development Center at University of Colorado would take away a child's pillow right before nap time, but for some reason they did. And the child who lost his pillow was not happy. In fact, 4-year-old Kyle kind of went over the edge into what can only be described as a misdirected temper tantrum. Instead of giving his teacher a piece of his mind, he threatened his fellow classmates. With a gun. According to staff at the day care, what he said was this: "I am going to go shoot all my friends!"
If an older kid says this, you should definitely call the police. But a 4-year-old? I think a good talking-to would be in order. Kyle did get a talking to - right before the university police arrived. They questioned his parents about whether or not there were guns in the home. They assured the police that not only were there no guns at home, Kyle isn't even allowed to play with toy guns or watch television.
I don't know if Kyle got his pillow back, but he did get expelled from the school in which had been enrolled for the past three years. His mom thinks the situation was handled unreasonably and I tend to agree with her. I know that in this day and age we all freak out when a kid threatens violence - often with good reason. And I may not know all the facts regarding Kyle and his home life, but I do think a four-year-old is too young to comprehend what a threat like that really means.
Yes, this is true. A five-year-old in Denton, Texas managed to slip out of a local daycare undetected and made it all the way to the parking lot of a nearby Hooters. What's worse, he crossed two busy streets to get there. The boy, unnamed, is believed to have slipped out through an emergency exit, which due to fire codes should remain unlocked at all times. The owner of the daycare claims the child asked to use the bathroom and then must have slipped out. Clearly he was not being supervised!
The manager of the Hooters noticed the child was unattended and brought him into the restaurant, keeping him in the back coloring until the boy's parents could be located. They have coloring books at Hooters? Anyway, the manager did note the boy said he stopped to look both ways before crossing the road and stopped half-way through to be safe.
According to inspection records, the daycare, called The Imagination Station, has been cited eight times since 2003. Two of the citations have been for improper supervision. The boy, who has not since returned to the daycare, also managed to stop at a local gas station for a drink and some snacks before completing the half-mile trek to Hooters.
Hugh Jackman is no stranger to parenthood. The X-Men star is dad to two children and remembers what it was like to be a new parent. One thing he didn't care for was all the advice lopped at him. As a result, Jackman has endeavored to decline from offering parenting advice to other new parents. He is refusing to offer advice to new mom Nicole Kidman (and new dad Keith Urban). Nicole and Keith recently welcomed daughter Sunday Rose into the world. No word on whether or not they actually sought advice from Jackman, but if they did or do, they ain't gonna get any.
Jackman did go on to say that he received one bit of useful advice from the man who helped deliver his son--never to rock the baby. According to Jackman, if one does this one will spend one's life doing it. He declined to offer this information to his Australian compatriots.
What do you think? Did you appreciate advice when you were a new parent or did it annoy you like it did Hugh Jackman? New parents, regardless of whether or not they're celebrities, have a lot to learn about raising a baby. Ultimately, there's only one way to do it, and that is to go through it and learn from experience.
File this in the list of the stupidest things people do, you know, that list that makes you wonder how it's possible for some loser to be a parent when there are so many great people out there who can't have kids? Some jerk decided it was a good idea to leave his son in the parking lot in the car while he went in and saw The Dark Knight, the latest Batman installment.
Oh, yes he did. David Farnham, candidate for father of the year, left his two-year-old son alone in a locked car while he took in the more than two hour movie. Naturally people who were actually concerned about the boy's wellbeing noticed him crying and sent for help from the police. When the boy was retrieved he was dehydrated and scared but otherwise in relatively good condition.
%Gallery-28378%
The cops noted it was 87 degrees and the windows of the car were rolled up. I think about this kind of thing all the time living in New York where the temperatures get surprisingly hot. Aside from the basic, common sense fact that no child should be left alone in a car, it was too hot for him to be out there. Did I mention it was in the middle of the night? Oh, yeah, the father went to see the 1:00 AM screening of the movie. I know an R-rated movie is no place for a child, certainly not a two-year-old, but isn't it better than being left alone in a hot car? Or, wait--I know the answer: GET A SITTER. If you can shell out the ten bucks to see the movie you can certainly afford a few dollars more to get someone to watch your kid.
Actor Gary Oldman has come clean about his preference for work. According to the actor, who was once married to Uma Thurman, he'd rather take on projects that let him spend more time with his children.
Oldman, star of the recent Batman films but normally known as the bad guy (True Romance, anyone?) sees like a tough guy in real life. Not so, at least not anymore. Maybe it was all those Harry Potter films. Although he alleges his ambition isn't what it once was, and that he'd rather spend quality time with his kids, starring in such huge hits as Batman Returns and the aforementioned Potter flicks is no small feat! Most actors would be lucky to even be considered for such roles.
So, looks like Oldman will get to have his proverbial cake and eat it too--only with his kids at the table! His main reason for signing on to Batman 2--director Chris Nolan lets him get home in time to put his kids to bed. That's a far cry from the man who was accused by Thurman of being,er, not so nice to her!
And, if so, does it bug your neighbors? Do your neighbors go so far as to complain to you about it? And, if they do, do you care? I live in New York City, in Brooklyn, in an apartment. I am surrounded, in my condo complex, by people to the right of me, on top of me and below me. I also have a fifteen month old. To say that he is rambunctious would be putting it mildly. No one has complained that my son is loud. After all, there are also a set of two-year-old twins across the hall. Many parents, however, aren't so lucky. In an article in the Real Estate section of the New York Times, the author uncovers just how a lot of neighbors feel about their neighbors' kids and how those parents feel about the neighbors. Most try to get along and make it work. Most are sympathetic--we've all had a new baby cry throughout the night and we've all greeted the following day with colic.
Some parents, however, feel like they are caught between a very rough rock and a very hard place: to be the perfect parent while being the perfect neighbor. In Brooklyn, perhaps, it is accepted that maybe you cannot be both. In places like Park Slope, which we mock all the time for being full of the mommy mafia, where we joke they won't let you in without kids, at least you know you can go to a restaurant and they'll treat you like a human being when you bring your kids with you. Your neighbors generally have kids too or at least understand what you're going through and they refrain from giving you a hard time. After all, your kids will grow up--eventually.
Elsewhere it's not so easy to be a parent and a neighbor. And, I would say the trouble isn't limited to apartment dwellers, either. Anyone with a backyard that sits next to someone else's backyard might complain your kids are making too much noise in the pool, or are coming over into their property, etc. You might respond the guests at their non-stop parties get too drunk and throw lawn darts too close to your kids' heads!!!
In an effort to help teachers and child-care workers spot budding racists, the UK's National Children's Bureau (NCB) has come out with a 366-page guide called Young Children and Racial Justice. The guide includes helpful hints and tips on what to look for in determining if a little child is a potential racist.
For example, if a child should refer to someone with the words "blackie", "Pakis" or even "those people", the guide advises that the action should be condemned and reported to authorities. Playgroup leaders are further advised that even little babies are suspect when it comes to having a racial bias since they can "recognize different people in their lives".
Now, I would agree that if I child is using some of those words, there is a good chance that child has a racist adult in his or her life. But what about the pamphlet's advice regarding food? According to the NCB, if a child reacts with "yuk" to culinary tradition other than their own, that is a sign of racism.
The pamphlet encourages workers to report as many incidents as possible to their local council, saying: "Some people think that if a large number of racist incidents are reported, this will reflect badly on the institution. In fact, the opposite is the case." In other words, the more the better. Even if you have to invent them.
But the bigger question here is what exactly are they doing with this information? Are they going back to the parents or other adults and accusing them of racism? Is the child who dislikes spicy food going to end up with the word 'racist' in his or her permanent file?
We've been taught for ages now the importance of reading to our children. From the earliest age, and even in the womb (your child can hear as soon as her ears form, even if she can't see the pictures from in the womb), parents are being instructed to read to their little ones.
Why? Well, it's supposed to make 'em smarter. Now, apparently, it makes them more tolerablenicer too. Just when you thought you couldn't possibly read Goodnight Moon ONE MORE TIME comes reason to celebrate doing so. Researchers reported to The Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology that kids whose parents gave them plenty of intellectual stimulation--that's reading to them, talking to them, etc.--during their first year of life were less likely to have behavior issues such as bullying and disobeying their parents. The study was conducted on 1,863 U.S. children and their mothers (but not their fathers, oddly enough).
Naturally, that theory only goes so far. The temperament of the child during her infant stage also plays a large part in determining how she'll be later. The actual article, however, deflects back onto the parenting skills and makes a case for giving parents the skills they need to do the job right.
Brad Pitt, who starred in tinsel town's The Mexican with Julia Roberts has allegedly contacted his former co-star to ask for some very particular advice. Pitt is due to have twins with partner Angelina Jolie in the impending weeks. Roberts has already tackled that project with twins Hazel and Phinnaeus (who are three if you can believe it!).
According to a "source" (and you know how we feel about "sources"), Brad contacted Julia to ask advice on how to deal with raising twins. The source claims Brad was "frantic," which I find hard to picture, about whether or not the rules or parenting twins are different than parenting a singleton.
The alleged response? No, it's just harder. I don't know if that is true or not--I think it depends on how you look at it. I know several couples who had twins and they've said since they never had kids before (the twins were their first) it wasn't any different or any harder because they had nothing to compare the experience to. Brad and Ange, however, already have a brood going with daughters Shiloh and Zahara and sons Pax and Maddox.
There's a lot to appreciate Maggie Gyllenhaal for--she's a great actor who tackles thoughtful roles. Perhaps the producers of her new movie appreciate her even more now that she's a mom. Gyllenhaal recently used her parenting skills on the set of the movie Farlanders to calm two of her co-stars.
Gyllenhaal is starring in the film, her first since becoming a parent in 2006, alongside eleven-month-old twins. At one point the babies were crying incessantly and unable to be stopped. Gyllenhaal slipped into mother mode and calmed them so filming could continue.
Maggie thanks her lucky stars she was a mother and had learned those skills. Says Gyllenhaal, "If I had not been a mom and known how to calm a baby, talk and hold the baby, the whole day would've been wasted." She also stated that she felt like a mom the whole day, not just at home but also on the set. Brings new meaning to the term 'working mother,' eh? good work, Maggie!
I don't know why the teachers at The Family Development Center at University of Colorado would take away a child's pillow right before nap time, but for some reason they did. And the child who lost his pillow was not happy. In fact, 4-year-old Kyle kind of went over the edge into what can only be described as a misdirected temper tantrum. Instead of giving his teacher a piece of his mind, he 
In an effort to help teachers and child-care workers spot budding racists, the UK's National Children's Bureau (NCB) has come out with a 366-page guide called Young Children and Racial Justice. The guide includes helpful hints and tips on what to look for in determining if 
